To the (Misogynist) Colleague Next to Me

After last week’s ear biscuits, I decided to give my coworkers, who have different and difficult to cope with habits one more chance and embrace their existence for what it is and “change” my outlook for a more “relaxed” work environment.

Seems like that will have to wait.

When I dumped my dried up “women’s day” roses to trash, one coworker (who recently blamed the tragic plane crash on a female co-pilot, claiming the male pilot neglected his duty as he was having an adultery encounter on duty with the lady and therefore the crash happened, and he made this joke while we were finally receiving the news of death tolls) was asking who dumped their “women’s right” to bin?

And then that dude who sits to my left got started. He began with how absurd that even though there’s a international men’s day and an international transgender day (yeah, they “learned” that on women’s day), still women’s day is “more highlighted”. Since nobody in the workplace responded, he got started with how women and men are never equal, no female athlete would win a race with a male athlete, if she does then the man must be lacking something, in no field women are doing better than men. No matter what, it is scientifically proven that women will always be weaker than men.

Still nobody was giving him any attention.

Then he was like, then how come women win less Nobel prizes than men “if they’re equal”. Believe it or not, it was the end for me. I countered him with how many women don’t receive credits for their work in STEM. Then he was like, well, “some of them (women)” receive credits, right? How come they receive credits then? Women want unfair and undeserved rights.

I was trying to logically argue that, women have received unfair treatment for thousands of years in getting credits and recognition. He was like, then they will always be behind thousands of years, since it will be illogical for men to stop for thousands of years to reach an equilibrium, and therefore the gap will persist forever, hence women should stop demanding “equal rights” and be content with what they have.

This pissed me off so hard that it became impossible for me to concentrate on work for a while. I was thinking of instagram DM-ing Anna Rothschild, because I had to let it out to someone who would understand. I’m glad I didn’t. Anna does not deserve such pathetic DM on a sad Pi day when we lost Stephen Hawking.

Speaking of Stephen Hawking, that colleague was demanding, “Name one female physicist as famous as Stephen Hawking, or Einstein or Sir Issac Newton! There are not many big female names, yes, some might have worked hard, but the men work equally hard to get recognition, and recently, thanks to your “feminism” only the successes of female scientists are highlighted and men’s successes are overlooked and “praised less”! Admit it, you have go all resources and amenities, you don’t need “equal rights” because you are not, and never gonna be “equal” to men in any way. I’m not saying women are useless, I was born to a mother, I have a sister. They have certain roles in life. But there is and always going to be a gender gap, and it is legitimate. You feminists are demanding what is undeserved.

Sorry, that was one dang long quotation. But that’s what I’ve been enduring for past few hours.

I know I am just a speck of Mythical Beast, but I politely want to ask Rhett and Link, how do I deal with this? How should I respond?

I am asking your opinion feminist fathers I know on the internet, Man vs Pink, Dad and Two, Feminist Dad. How would you respond if you were me? Or if/when you see someone around you saying toxic misogynist crap like this with full conviction that they’re being “logical” and “right”?

I am asking for your help too Scientista Foundation. And all the other organizations that work with and work for women in STEM. What should I do? Like how should I handle this situations in a workplace where HR is all about recruiting and firing people and keeping a log of their attendance and leave and the whole workplace has a deaf ear to such behaviors every single day?

(Update of the updates: Well, it’s been a while since I wrote this blog, and it was my last entry so far, and make no mistake, things have gone even worse since that day. Internalized misogyny has become so toxic in our office that regressive fundamentalism is being normalized withing the four walls, oh cherry on top, homophobia is being explicitly celebrated, well it’s (homophobia) is legal in the beautiful country I live in, but this explicit homophobia is making it worse! People (read: the person who is blogging this) do crazy shit for money!)


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