More Laments/Sad Saturdays

I ran out of things to write about. What’s the best thing to write about when you don’t have anything else to write about? I think it’s a tie between a) writing more about how you cannot find enough time to write about things and  b) random thoughts that cross your mind.

I choose b.

The first thing I could think of is, how unsuccessful and left behind I am from my peers in college. And I’m feeling an enormous bloody guilt about it. People who were better than me are skyrocketing, I have no problem with that. BUT PEOPLE WHO WERE NOT, their success gives me a bummer. Yes, I am being honest. My jealous little bean of a soul is burning with guilt and agony for procrastinating. For letting my skills and talents go and not working hard enough. Also for going far away from the organized and discipline person I was. And I find it infuriating that THERE IS NO GOING BACK. There is no restart button for it. I have to bear my failure ALL MY LIFE. In an honest way, I’m at least 3 years behind. I am 3 years unsuccessful in my own bloody standards. I am a total failure. I cannot function properly, I am a disgrace. I know there are life coaches out there, who help people like me. But I don’t know any of them or cannot afford them. So here I am, rotting in my own guilt dumpster.

The second thought is a little more brightening. The peers who are successful, are not happy with themselves either. Everyone is in a rush. There is no stopping. No taking a moment to have a look around. Everything must be planned, even the vacations and hangouts. Everything is organized beforehand. Everyone is in a constant anxiety to make sure everything is right. Boy! I should be grateful that I still have the time to enjoy and have a moment to enjoy. Well, basically that’s all I’m doing right now. I hope I will find a balance. I honestly want to do something that I love and make a decent living doing it. WHICH IS HARD MY FRIEND. VERY FVCKING HARD -_-

However, I have a third thing in my mind. I’m thinking of setting an online gameplan. I will set a few goals for every day and upon accomplishing, report those. ALL OF IT WILL BE DONE IN THE BLOG. Since this blogging thing went well (so far) for a week, hopefully that will go well too. I will post the details tomorrow.

(Even I don’t like my blog today! -_- There’s nothing in it to touch other people’s soul. Baa!)

But folks, you are better than me! And you guys are probably doing things that is doing greater good to humankind. So folks, DON’T FORGET TO BE AWESOME \m/

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